Troubled Thoughts
by Xanderette43
Summary: Post 'Him' and 'CWDP'. Xander comes over for a movie night w/ Dawn.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Troubled Thoughts   
  
Author: Christine   
  
E-mail: Buffygirl43@hotmail.com   
  
Rating: R   
  
Summary: Xander's thoughts.   
  
Pairing: Xander/Dawn   
  
Spoilers: Up to the season seven episode 'Him'   
  
Disclaimer: As always, I don't own a damn thing except the story idea.   
  
Distribution: I'd be ecstatic if you want it, just let me know where it's going to be.   
  
Author's Notes: I'm not sure about continuing this fic, I think it might be funnier if I just left it the way it is. :)   
******   
  
'Oh shit. What just happened? I think my brain finally just decided to short circuit. I knew it would happen one day, but Christ, why now? Why this? Why her? Fuck. I wanted her. I wanted to do *things* with her. Oh man. I can't even act it like nothing happened cause Buffy and Willow heard what I said. I'm supposed to go over to their house in a few minutes and already my palms are getting all sweaty. Maybe this is just a passing thing. You know, one of those 'oh she's hot, but nothing will ever happen' things. Yeah. Right. Why am I acting like such a nancy boy as Spike would call it. I mean, yeah she's hot now but how come I never noticed it until now? She was Buffy's little sister, little Dawnie who had no sex appeal at all because she was so young. But now…. oh God. I'm a bad, bad person. Bad Xander. I almost wish Anya was here so she'd slap me. Oh no, what if she finds out? What if Willow and Buffy tell her I commented on Dawn's little sexy dance the other night? She'd kill me. Literally. I'd be the human version of a sun dried tomato. Dammit I have to go to their house now. Shit. Why did I say I'd go watch movies over there? Ok Xander now get up off your ass, get into your car and drive over there. Well, here I go.'   
  
"Hey Dawn, what movies did you rent?" Buffy asked while stirring the iced tea mix into the pitcher.   
  
Dawn walked into the room and dropped the DVD's on to the kitchen counter. "Well, they were all out of the new Austin Powers movie so I rented Enough, Armageddon and Resident Evil."   
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Is Enough that Jennifer Lopez movie?"   
  
"Yep, the one where she gets even with her abusive husband or something."   
  
Buffy rolled her eyes again. "I could so kick her ass."   
  
Dawn laughed, "Well I'd hope so. If J Lo beat you up I'd have to start worrying."   
  
Buffy opened her mouth to retort but the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Dawn said as she pulled the ponytail out of her hair. She turned the knob to the left and smiled when she saw Xander standing there looking adorable as usual. "Xander you know you can just come in."   
  
Xander forced a smile to his face. "I know, just being polite I guess. You guys still movie bound?"   
  
She nodded, "Yep, although I don't think Buffy likes my movie choices, next time she can get them so she won't complain so much."   
  
"I do not complain that much." Buffy walked into the front entrance of the house wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "But come on, you rented a movie with 'J Lo' in it, that's enough reason to complain."   
  
Xander snickered. "It's not Enough is it?"   
  
"Yep."   
  
"Oh no, I saw the preview for that movie. The three minute trailer was 'Enough' for me." He and Buffy laughed, but toned it down when they noticed Dawn glaring at them.   
  
"Sorry."   
  
"Whatever you guys don't have to watch it, I'll watch it tomorrow when no one's around."   
  
They walked into the living room when the phone rang in the kitchen. "I'll get it." Buffy ran around the corner and hopped over Dawn's backpack in the middle of the hallway, leaving Xander alone with Dawn. He could feel his heart start beating wildly in his chest.   
  
"So, how's school been? Any new weirdness in the hallways?"   
  
Dawn smiled. "Nope, its actually been normal this past week, of course I just jinxed myself so tomorrow a ghoul will probably show up during my math class, but I probably won't mind since I hate math with a passion."   
  
Xander wiped his hands on his jeans. "Yeah, you know you can always call me if you can't get in touch with Buffy if something happens right?"   
  
She nodded. "I know, I can always count on you." Dawn touched his shoulder lightly. "Thank you though. Same goes for you. I'll always be here if you need me."   
  
Xander's eyes glanced down at her hand on his shoulder. 'Play it cool Xan, play it cool.' He grinned his goofy smile and nodded. Buffy walked back into the room and sighed. They both turned around and Xander asked what was up. "Apparently Weatherly Park has some new tenants, that was Anya who called, she said she was walking back to her apartment and saw a bunch of demons with some skin problems walking around there. I'm going to have to check it out, sorry guys, watch the movies without me."   
  
Xander's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Do you want us to go with you? I mean we can help."   
  
Buffy shook her head. "No its okay, I'll be fine, I should patrol anyway. Feel free to watch the J Lo movie without me. Trust me, I won't be mad." She grabbed her coat from the couch and was out the door in a matter of seconds.   
  
Dawn turned back to Xander. "Well its just us then, lets go watch Armageddon, I love that movie." She tugged on his hand and he followed her to the staircase.   
  
"Uh, why are we going upstairs?"   
  
Dawn pointed up. "Cause the DVD player is in Mom- I mean Buffy's room. We can sit on the bed and watch it okay? Go up, I'll grab the movies and drinks and be up there in a minute." She walked into the kitchen and Xander stood still staring up at the stairs. He was going to be lying on a bed watching movies with her? Oh dear God.   
  
To be continued... 


	2. Part 2

Here's part two, I just wanted to thank everyone who wrote me feedback on this story, I really wasn't going to continue it, but because of you guys I am, so thanks! :)  
  
***  
  
"Here you go, " Dawn said as she tossed Xander a can of coke and the movie rentals. "I'll be right back, just gotta get changed, you can get the movie set up if you want." She smiled and flew back out of the room again as he sat on the edge of the king sized bed contemplating whether to stay put of jump out the open window.  
  
He rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans and got up to pop the DVD into the player. As he turned the TV on and sat back down on the bed, she bounced back into the room. He glanced over at her and could almost hear himself pant. She had changed out of her jeans and t-shirt and into tight gray sweatpants with a pink low cut halter top. Her hair was messy and wild, and he loved it. He mentally kicked himself in the groin. She smiled at him and pushed his shoulder. "Any room for me on here?"  
  
He realized he was staring at her. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry." He scooted over and she jumped onto the bed next to him, lying down while the main menu of Armageddon came on the screen. Xander hit the play button on the remote control and tossed it back on the bed.  
  
Dawn looked up at Xander and smiled. "Don't mind me if I start crying at the end of this, it always gets to me."  
  
He smiled halfheartedly back at her and realized he could see down her shirt, and there was no sign of a bra. His wide eyed gaze immediately went back to the screen and he moved positions, laying down next to her so that he wouldn't be tempted to look over again. Why wasn't she wearing a bra? Was she trying to seduce him? If she was, it was working, although he was sure he would never like to admit it. He stayed cemented to the same spot until the scene where Ben Affleck proceeded to walk animal crackers across Liv Tyler's abdomen. Dawn touched his hand, "I always wish someone would do that with me, just laying there in the grass completely in love, you know?"  
  
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, except they've got the whole 'end of the world' thing going on. Not that we don't have our share of apocalypses. We just have hell opening up instead of asteroids hitting the planet."  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. "You know what I mean, just to be able to do that kinda stuff. It's nice to daydream about that stuff sometimes, especially when things around here seem so dark and depressing."  
  
Xander nodded, " I know. And who do you daydream about anyway? Ben Affleck is hunky and all that, but I think he's J Lo's new catch... well, this year at least."  
  
She winked, "Wouldn't you like to know?"  
  
"A guy in school?"  
  
"Uh uh." She shook her head from side to side, her light brown hair splashing down past her shoulders. "High school guys are too immature."  
  
He laughed. "Yeah, and usually we still are even after high school."  
  
"True, but they're a hell of a lot hotter, so it makes up for it." She thought for a moment. "Usually."  
  
"Celebrity?"  
  
She made a face at him. "Please. I mean, I do think some celebrities are hot, but why would I waste my time pining away for some guy who doesn't even know I exist? Besides, all the celebs I think are hot are like ten years older then me."  
  
"So you like older men huh?"  
  
She nodded vigorously. "Hell yeah. Have you bseen/b Keanu Reeves in The Matrix?" He nods, seeing her point. "I rest my case."  
  
"I don't know what else that leaves. College guy?"  
  
"Not exactly. More like college guy, minus the college."  
  
Xander's jaw almost dropped to the bed. If she wasn't talking about him, he didn't know what the hell to think anymore. He looked at her, and she was giving him this look that he couldn't quite tell what kind of look it was exactly. He decided to play along and see what happens.  
  
"So, what does this mystery guy look like?"  
  
She thought for a moment before answering. "Well, he's got these big brown eyes which make my knees weak just looking into them whenever I get the chance to, and brown hair which is adorable, even when its messy. He's got the greatest personality of anyone I know, he can be witty and comical, but he's got this serious side to him also that not many people get to see, but when you do it makes you respect him even more then you already did." She stares off into space with this far off look in her face. He feels beyond flattered; he honestly didn't think she still had a thing for him.  
  
He decided to break the silence. "Wow, well he seems to be quite the guy."  
  
She snaps out of her reverie and looks at him with her big blue eyes. "He is, even though he doesn't realize that he is quite the perfect guy."  
  
"Maybe you should tell this guy, maybe he'll think the same of you."  
  
She shook her head. "He doesn't, but I'll tell him anyway." Her fingers lightly graze the top of his left hand. "You're quite the perfect guy Xander."  
  
He mentally bit his lip. Her hand was still lingering on his and he wasn't sure whether to pull back, grab it or run out of the room because he knew what he really wanted to do, and he knew it wasn't such a good idea. He looked at her and saw her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She probably thought he didn't feel the same towards her, but he really did. He just wasn't sure if he should tell her that. He moved closer to her and lightly kissed her cheek, pulling back again just as fast. "You're quite the perfect girl Dawn."  
  
A look of surprise passed her open mouthed face, and then was replaced by a hard stare. "You're just saying that to be nice, I know you don't feel the same way about me as I do for you. Everyone still thinks I'm a little kid, no one realizes that I'm 17, they still think I'm 12 or something."  
  
Xander sat up on the bed as she did the same. "Dawn, I really don't think of you as little anymore. Beyond the physical obviousness, your maturity has probably exceeded mine by now and you've got such strength in you, you're a true member of the Scooby Gang."  
  
A little smile broke out upon her face, but he could still see the hesitation there. "I saw you looking at me."  
  
He raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Yeah, I'm looking at you right now."  
  
She shook her head. "No, I mean I saw you looking at me last week at the Bronze when I was dancing with RJ."  
  
Xander could feel all the color drain from his face. "Oh."  
  
She continued. "I saw the way you looked at me, saw the jealousy on your face." She leaned forward a little, scooting closer to him. "I really didn't want to be dancing with RJ." She twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "I wanted to be dancing like that with you."  
  
He swallowed hard. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms and kiss her, but every rational thought in his head was screaming at him not to. He could see endless amounts of stop signs and red lights in his head and at the end of the road there stood Buffy with a stake, ready to shove it into him for corrupting her sister. Before he could stop her though her lips were on his, and all the coherent thoughts that were in his head previously vanished within seconds. She lifted herself up and onto him and he returned her kisses with just as much enthusiasm. Her tongue sought access to his mouth and he opened it willingly, the sensations of her movements causing his body to react. She smelled like peaches and tasted like strawberries, her mouth was so soft and sweet, no one had ever made him feel like this before, not even Anya which surprised him to no end.  
  
She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "My heart is beating faster then anything right now." She took his hand and placed it on her chest and then captured his lips with hers again. When he didn't return the kiss she looked at him, confusion clouding her pretty face. "What's wrong?"  
  
Xander looked at her and shook his head slowly. "Dawn, I don't think we should be doing this."  
  
She smirked. "Some other part of you disagrees I think." She peered down between their bodies.  
  
Xander's eyes widened. "Well, I um..." He thought for a moment about what kind of horrific torture Buffy and everyone else would inflict upon him once they found out what he and Dawn were doing and decided that it would be worth it. He looked at her pouting full pink lips and the way her tongue darted out to moisten them and he made his decision, there was no going back now. 


	3. Part 3

Author's Note: Just a reminder to everyone, this takes place during season seven after 'Him' and 'Conversations with Dead People'.  
  
Part Three  
  
Xander's pants were already down around his ankles when Dawn pushed him back onto the bed, no longer were they in sitting positions. His mouth opened to argue with her some more about this not being such a good idea when her hand went underneath his boxers and he could no longer fully enunciate sounds, nonetheless words. Her mouth curved into a seductive smirk as his hands began tugging at the fabric of her shirt.  
  
She wagged her finger at him in a 'tsk tsk' manner and began lowering her head in the direction of his boxers. Eyes rolling back in his head, he failed to hear the footsteps coming up the stairs and the knocking on the door. He looked at Dawn who shrugged and whispered "ignore it" into his ear, sending a tingle up his spine. The door opened and there stood Buffy taking in the scene before her. Xander's half naked body covered by her own sister. He looked at her shamefully and started to apologize when her hand went around his throat and began to choke him.  
  
"Buffy - I"  
  
She gave him a hard push with her other hand. "Wake up Xander."  
  
He looked at her in confusion. "Wha -"  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Xander wake up!"  
  
Xander's eyes fluttered open to see Dawn's crystal blue ones gazing down at him. "And they all said I wouldn't be able to wake you up without blasting music in your ears!" She high fived herself and looked back down at him again. "Now don't go back to sleep, I promise you fried potatoes and scrambled eggs if you come with me downstairs."  
  
He groaned and tried to roll over, finally realizing that he was dreaming. He also didn't want Dawn to see little Xander making the blanket stick up like a tent. Dawn would have none of it though. "Xander come on... how about pancakes too?"  
  
He rolled back over and tried looking at her normally, instead of thinking about how she was about to lose her virginity to him in his dream. "Only if you make Mickey Mouse shapes."  
  
She grinned and ruffled his hair before standing up. "You got it. Now get out of bed or else!" She gave him one last playful shove and left the room closing the door behind her.  
  
He moved slightly and realized that there was still the problem that lay in his boxers. He decided to take care of the matter at hand, and then get up for breakfast.  
  
***  
  
Dawn's hand wrapped around the doorknob to open it when it turned by itself and there stood Xander looking half asleep and flushed. He jumped, not realizing she was standing right there. "Were you standing there the whole time?"  
  
She shook her head. "No, its been almost ten minutes since you promised me you'd get your butt up if I made you pancakes." She tilted her head slightly. "Why are you so paranoid I was standing here?"  
  
Xander shrugged. "No reason. Is breakfast ready?"  
  
Dawn pointed behind her towards the kitchen. "Food's on the table."  
  
He smiled and started walking past her when she touched his arm briefly. "Are you ok? You look kinda like a deer in the headlights." She paused, thinking about that statement. "Or, at least what you'd think a deer in the headlights would look like."  
  
Xander forced a grin to his face. "I'm fine, just had a weird dream."  
  
"What was it about?"  
  
Xander froze. He wasn't expecting that question from her. "Just a girl."  
  
Dawn's smiled faltered a bit. "Oh." As quickly as her smiled disappeared, it came back and she pointed again towards the kitchen. "Go eat, we've got shopping to do today, Buffy and Willow are at the supermarket right now, but they should be back soon."  
  
"Remind me again why we're going shopping?" he asked as they made their way into the kitchen.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Because Willow's birthday is in a few days and we have to get her something nice." Her smile faded. "Also because Tara's been gone almost a year and we don't want to make it any harder for her."  
  
Xander looked at the forlorn look upon Dawn's face and gently gave her hand a squeeze as they sat down on the chairs next to the island counter in the kitchen. "I know. I miss her too."  
  
She nodded slowly. "Tara used to make me pancakes like these." She pushed a plate of oddly shaped pancakes and a bottle of syrup towards him, changing the subject. "I tried going for Mickey Mouse but they kinda just turned into blobby shapes." She gave him a small smile and a strand of her light brown hair fell loose from her hairclip. She shrugged and tugged the hairclip out, her hair cascading down a little past her shoulders.  
  
He gulped. Xander squeezed the syrup bottle, making it drip down the side. He realized he was staring at her and forced himself to pick up his fork and start eating. She looked at him oddly, wondering why he was looking at her like that and shrugged, wiping the small amount of syrup off the top of the bottle and licking it off. Xander thought he was going to scream. Was she doing this on purpose? Did she know about his dream? He mentally shook his head. How could she know, he didn't say anything specific to her about it. She stretched and stood up suddenly. "I'm gonna go take a shower and get dressed, I'll be back in a little while ok?"  
  
He shook his head, his mouth full of pancake and potatoes, preventing him from saying anything. Which, considering his intentions right now might be a good thing, he thought to himself. He spent the next fifteen minutes devouring the food Dawn made him which, while oddly shaped, was wonderfully delicious, and began to wonder what was taking her so long in the shower. He cleaned up the kitchen, washed the dishes, turned the TV on and began puttering around his apartment with nothing to do other then wait for her to come out of the bathroom.  
  
He didn't mind everyone staying over at his place since the force or whatever it was tried to kill Dawn and in the midst, wreck the whole downstairs of Buffy's house. He just wasn't used to waiting to go take a shower at all. He went back into his bedroom to look for something to wear, and stepped into his walk-in closet, sifting through shirts and sweaters, not hearing Dawn come into the room. He grabbed a green t-shirt and walked back out to get a pair of cargo pants from his dresser when he saw Dawn standing in the middle of the room, her back to him as she dropped her towel to the floor, the water glistening on her body in the early morning rays that came through the windows.  
  
His jaw dropped, and at the same time, so did the shirt that he was holding. It hit the wood floor with little more then a sound, but it was enough to make her gasp. She turned around, her wet hair whipping around and splashing drops of water to the floor. She saw Xander standing there with his mouth hanging open and she made a high pitched squeaking sound before her hands flew to her chest in an effort to cover herself up. He somehow found the strength to move his feet from the floor and he grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her. She clutched at it, drawing it around her again.  
  
He stuttered. "Dawn I am SO sorry. I didn't hear you come in, I was in the closet." He gestured behind him.  
  
Her face was turning all shades of red. "I -" She looked down. "I thought you were watching TV, I heard it on in the other room, I just assumed...."  
  
He nodded. "I'm really sorry. I'll just..." He picked up his shirt and started walking towards the door. He was halfway through the doorway when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw her standing behind him, still grasping her towel around her with one hand. "I think I know how a deer in the headlights feels now."  
  
Xander's lips curved up into a smile. "You and me both." He nodded towards the bedroom. "This little incident never leaves the room ok? I don't think Buffy would appreciate it if she found out I saw her younger sister naked in my bedroom."  
  
Dawn smirked. "I wasn't posing for you, I was about to get dressed!"  
  
He gave her a goofy grin. "Point is, you naked in front of me is not a good thing to Buffy. It might make her break out Mr. Pointy."  
  
She nodded, understanding his argument. "I know." She moved for him to leave, and then said something that made him stop in his tracks and his eyes widen.  
  
"You know, now I have to see you naked so we're even."  
  
She closed the door behind her and got dressed with a satisfied grin upon her face.  
  
To be continued.... 


	4. Part 4

Well, here is part four finally right? I know you guys have been waiting for it, and I promise you part five is on its way too (as is another part of my newer D/X fic) This part is much longer, as to make up for the time in-between updates. Thank you so much for the feedback so far, its what makes me write! Keep it coming!  
  
Part Four  
  
The drive to the Sunnydale Mall was a difficult one to say the least. Dawn secretly wished Buffy had come along with them to make the conversations between them easier, but she was still out with Willow. As Xander weaved his car in and out of traffic she quickly glanced over at him and wondered what he was thinking about. She knew she wasn't the only one with a million conflicting thoughts racing through her head; one of them being how embarrassed she should still be from Xander seeing her completely naked, but she wasn't. In fact, she was oddly comfortable with it. She knew he wasn't though, and she knew it wasn't just the normal embarrassment factor of it; there was something else complicating the matter and she just couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly.  
  
Xander's horn shook her out of her thoughts as she saw the car in the right lane cut him off. "Asshole!" He gave the car in front of him the finger and then looked sheepishly over at Dawn apologetically. "Sorry."  
  
She smiled and shrugged. "I would've done the same thing." He gave her a smile back and turned on the radio. The new Justin Timberlake song came blasting out of the car speakers and Dawn mockingly began choking herself. Xander laughed and quickly switched to the local rock station and he and Dawn breathed a sigh of relief when an Incubus song filtered through the stereo. "That's much much better." She moved to the beat of the music and Xander could hear her murmur the words of the song softly under her breath.  
  
"How do you do it?  
  
Make me feel like I do.  
  
How do you do it?  
  
It's better than I ever knew.  
  
Meet me in outer space.  
  
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.  
  
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way  
  
that I can show you how  
  
it feels to be inside of you."  
  
"I love this song." Dawn said as he made a left turn into the mall parking lot. "This is the song that I'd want someone to sing to me."  
  
He looked over at her as he waited for an elderly lady to walk in front of his car. "Really? Out of all the songs, this is the song you'd want someone to serenade you with?"  
  
She nodded. "Definitely. The lyrics just seem so sincere and caring."  
  
He gave her a look. "Are you sure its not just because all the girls think the lead singer is hot?"  
  
She playfully hit his arm. "No." She pointed to an open parking spot near the front entrance, and Xander quickly pulled into it before anyone else grabbed it. "I mean, Brandon Boyd is hot, but that's not why I love the song so much."  
  
He killed the engine and the automatic door locks clicked open so they could get out of the car. Dawn hopped out of the car and slammed it shut again, walking to the other side to walk with Xander as they made their way to the entrance. He held the door open for her and gestured for her to go first. "Milady goes first." She flashed him a smile and walked into the mall, taking in all the sounds and smells around them.  
  
"We should get Willow's present first and then we can look around for ourselves." He nodded and pointed towards Gap. Dawn nodded in agreement and they made their way there, moving swiftly through the large crowds of people in the midst. She poked Xander and pointed to the large signs in the windows that said 'clearance'. "Look they're having a big sale on everything!" They walked in and she immediately went to a long brown cotton skirt that she knew Willow would love. She held one of them up to show Xander. "What do you think about this?"  
  
He halfheartedly nodded. "Its okay."  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "You are so not getting her clothes." She flipped through the skirts for Willow's size and tossed it over her arm and kept looking, leaving Xander to follow after her. A sales associate walked in front of her and gave her a smile.  
  
"Hi, can I help you with anything today? We're having our annual winter clearance sale this week."  
  
Dawn smiled back at her and shook her head. "No thanks, I'm just looking for a present for a friend." She glanced back at Xander who was looking at the most hideous sweater she thought she'd ever seen. "Xander, she will never wear that."  
  
He looked at Dawn and back at the sweater, and then wandered back to where Dawn and the guy who worked there were standing. "Why not?"  
  
She pointed at the sweater. "It looks like something your grandma would knit you for Christmas."  
  
He looked back at the sweater still hanging on the rack and shrugged. "I think it looks okay. Plus its only $10!"  
  
The sales associate laughed, "If you and your girlfriend are looking for our sales, we have most of the clearance items in the back." He pointed past the checkout counter.  
  
Dawn started to correct him. "Oh we're n-"  
  
"-Thanks a lot, come on." Xander swept past the guy and gently guided Dawn to the back of the store.  
  
She gave him a weird look as they started looking at the clothes on sale but shrugged it off. She knew something was definitely up right now with Xander, ever since she woke him up this morning he had been acting stranger then usual. She glanced over at him as his eyes ticked back and forth from a green t-shirt with floral patterns embroidered on it to an ugly mustard yellow colored shirt. "So what was that all about?"  
  
He tried to make up an excuse as to why he hadn't corrected the guy. "Nothing, I just figured it wasn't worth it to explain to the guy he was wrong."  
  
"Oh, okay." She averted her gaze from Xander to a rack of necklaces and earrings. "I'll be over there." She started to walk away and turned back around. "And a big fat no to that yellow shirt."  
  
"But its only -"  
  
"Uh uh. No way."  
  
He gave her a sad face and she smiled at him before continuing over to her destination at the jewelry rack. She spotted a cute hemp necklace with a pink stone in the shape of a heart in the middle of it and decided to get Willow that. She loved stuff like that and Dawn knew that she didn't have anything like the necklace she was holding. She walked back over to where Xander was standing before and saw him grab the green shirt. She held up the necklace. "Look, isn't it pretty?"  
  
Xander nodded. "She'll love it. Now is this shirt ugly? I don't think I'm good at this clothes thing."  
  
She patted him on the back. "It's a winner."  
  
He pumped his fist in the air. "Thank God! Let's get out of here before I go insane from this music, Nelly is just not working for me today."  
  
Dawn giggled as they got on the line to check out. "Well, it is getting kinda hot in here. I might have to take off my -" She stopped talking suddenly when she realized what she was saying. "Um, never mind. I guess I did that earlier today."  
  
Xander swallowed hard. "Yeah, I still remember."  
  
They both fell silent as they paid for their gifts and as Xander bought a gift certificate to go along with the shirt. As they walked out of the Gap, he looked quickly over at Dawn who was apparently studying the intricate details of the marble floor of the mall. He opened his mouth to say something when the lights went out. They both looked at each other and then around at the other people in the mall who were looking just as confused as they were. Dawn squinted her eyes and saw a hulking figure in the distance coming towards them. She tensed up and hit Xander on the arm. "Look, I think it's a vamp." She opened her shoulder bag and quickly pulled out two stakes, putting one in his hand.  
  
The vampire stopped by a young single mom and her toddler hiding behind her legs. "Open season guys, come on out!"  
  
They both watched as two other vampires came out of the shadows across the wide gap in the center of the mall. "What are we going to do?" She whispered as she held the stake tightly in her hand. "We can't just leave these people to die."  
  
He shook his head. "Stay here." He quietly started to walk towards the first vampire who was quickly closing in on the mother of the kid. As Xander tried to stake the vampire from behind him, he struck out sideways and punched Xander in the face, making him fly backwards onto the hard floor. Dawn's eyes widened and felt the anger start to course through her. She ran to Xander's side and bent down to his level. "Are you okay?" He shook his head yes, but she knew he wasn't. He had blood running down the side of his face from a gash in his forehead. "Wait here." He tried to grab her pants leg to stop her but she was already stalking towards the vampire. She tapped him on the shoulder, and as he turned around, she punched him square in the face, causing him to falter a bit. "That was for hurting Xander, and this - " she stomped on his left foot and brought her right elbow up and into his face, crushing his nose. " - is just for planning this lame attempt at an all-you-can-eat buffet." He fell backwards and she took the opportunity to shove the stake through his rib cage and into his un-beating heart. He exploded from underneath her and she got up quickly, wiping the vampire dust from her jeans. She saw Xander looking at her incredulously and she grabbed his hand to help him up.  
  
"How did..." His words trailed off, and he didn't know what to say.  
  
She paused a moment, taking in what she just did, and realized that even she didn't know how she did it. "I don't know, I just -" She looked at him and all at once it became clear to her how much she cared about him. "- I saw him hurt you, and I snapped I guess. I just - I just realized how much you mean to me." She opened her mouth to say more but a scream from across the mall got their attention. She ran as fast as she could to help the people in trouble with Xander at her heels. She launched herself at the female vampire as Xander struggled with the other one who was quickly gaining the upper hand. Dawn pulled the vampire's long hair with all her might, causing her to screech and kicked her in the stomach. She hit the ground hard and rolled, never losing her grip on her stake. As the vamp closed in on her, Dawn pushed herself up and ducked as a fist almost smashed her face in. She thrusted the stake up and into the vampire, but she missed the heart and pulled it back out as the vamp groaned and clutched her side. "Oops."  
  
She pushed the vampire backwards with all of her strength and watched as she fell over the side of the railing and onto a wooden sign on the first floor next to Express detailing a promotion they had going. She exploded seconds later and Dawn turned to see Xander kick the other vampire in the shin, although she didn't think it even flinched. The vampire was even bigger then the other one she staked and it picked Xander up by the throat and tossed him aside like a rag doll. Her eyes narrowed and she ran and jumped on the thing's back, preventing him from hurting Xander any further. He reached back and clawed at her, scratching her cheek. She cursed and bit his hand, causing him to lean forward and fling her off of him. She hit the ground for a second time, landing on her back. She felt the wind get knocked out of her and tried to bring her stake up, but she needed a few seconds to re-cooperate, and this vampire was not about to give her that. As he hovered over her leaning into her neck, his eyes widened and he exploded. She looked up to see Xander there with a menacing look upon his face. He took her hand and helped her up.  
  
She brushed the vamp dust off of her for the second time and finally noticed all of the shoppers looking at both of them in amazement. The woman who would've been first on the gang's list to eat walked over to them and thanked them before running out of the mall with her son. The rest of the people nodded their thanks and left, leaving Xander and Dawn standing there looking tired and disheveled.  
  
"Well, I've heard people say shopping at the mall during the holiday season is hell, but I never knew that they meant it literally."  
  
She looked over at him and flashed him a small smile. "The things we do for presents."  
  
They started walking back to where they dropped their bags, but Xander stumbled, losing his balance. Dawn helped him sturdy himself and pointed to a bench to sit down at. "I think that blow to the head made me kinda dizzy."  
  
She pulled a tissue out of her pocket and reached up to stop the cut in his head from bleeding. He caught her hand midway and looked at her. "About what you said before, you mean a lot to me too Dawn."  
  
She tilted her head to the side. "You called me Dawn."  
  
He nodded. "I think you're too old for me to still be calling you Dawnster." He paused a moment. "Or any of the other names I made up for you for that matter."  
  
She smiled and applied pressure to his head, causing him to flinch. "Sorry, I just need to stop the bleeding before you get even woozier on me."  
  
"Is that even a word?"  
  
"Could be. Hey I got tossed around too, I can make up words if I want to." She playfully swatted his arm. "Can I ask you a question?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah?"  
  
"Who were you dreaming about this morning? Ever since you got up today you seemed kinda weird, I mean before you saw me naked and stuff."  
  
Xander's eyes almost bugged out of his head. He really didn't think she'd ask him that. Should he lie to her and make something up? He wasn't sure. "I uh... I don't think that's a good question to ask. Can I pass?"  
  
"Just tell me...was it one of the annoying Slayerettes? Cause I'll hit you if it was. Especially if it was -"  
  
He shook his head. "God no."  
  
"Whew ok. Is it someone I know?"  
  
He reluctantly shook his head.  
  
"Ok. Willow?"  
  
"She's gay remember? And we're only friends anyway."  
  
"Ok ok, Buffy? Please don't say it was my sister."  
  
"I love Buffy but I don't have a thing for her anymore."  
  
"Good. Was it Anya? It has to be her."  
  
He shook his head again. "Not her."  
  
She rolled her eyes and tapped her sneaker in annoyance against the side of the bench. "Andrew?"  
  
Xander just stared at her. "Are you serious?"  
  
Dawn's cheeks reddened. "Well, you guys are friends now, and you play Dungeons and Dragons!"  
  
"I'm just going to pretend you didn't suggest him."  
  
"Fine, fine. I give up there's just no other person living in the house except - " She looked at him and it finally hit her. "- except me."  
  
He averted his gaze to look at anything but her. Why didn't he just lie to her? He could've gotten away with telling her it was Anya. At least it was somewhat plausible. But no, he had to be good and virtuous... and a complete moron.  
  
Her voice was a drop below a whisper. "What was it about?"  
  
He leaned back on the bench. "I don't think you want to know."  
  
She got up from the bench and started pacing back and forth in front of him. She glanced at him, but he couldn't register the look she was giving him. "So I guess we didn't play that marathon of Monopoly we've been talking about doing."  
  
He could feel himself break out in a cold sweat as he shook his head. "No."  
  
"How long...how long have you felt this way?"  
  
He felt like jumping over the railing like the vampire did. "A while."  
  
"And you didn't feel like telling me about this?"  
  
He looked over at her. "How could I? You're Buffy's little sister. Do you know what she would do to me if she found out I loved you like that?" He realized what he just blurted out and immediately wished he had decided to jump.  
  
She stopped pacing. "You...love me?" Dawn could feel her eyes start to mist, her vision becoming blurry.  
  
Xander got shakily got up from the bench. "I do Dawn, and I know you had that crush on me a couple years back, but I know you don't anymore and that's fine. I'm not asking for anything, I just thought for once I'd be truthful when it really matters." He leaned against the bench again and looked at her standing there watching him. It was hard to see her features in the darkness, but the light streaming in from the skylights in certain areas was enough to make out her face, and he could see tears begin to fall. "Dawn, please don't cry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm such a –"  
  
His ramble was interrupted by Dawn's lips on his. He stood there in shock for a moment before realizing that she was kissing him, and within moments took the opportunity to kiss her back. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she could feel his fingers lace through her hair, bringing her mouth even closer. She felt as if she were in a movie; kisses like this didn't exist in real life. But here she was, kissing the guy she had dreamt of being with as long as she could remember. And it was perfect.  
  
They broke the kiss for air, but Dawn never let go of him, instead she just put her finger to his lips when he opened his mouth to say something. "Don't say one word, let's just go home ok?" He nodded in understanding, but she still refused to let go. "But not before kissing me again." She smiled seductively and he willingly obliged. Before things got too out of hand, Dawn broke her grip on him reluctantly and slipped an arm around him before walking over to their bags on the ground. "I love you too you know." He turned to her and took her hand.  
  
"I know. That kiss told me everything."  
  
She smiled at him before it faded again. "What are we going to tell everyone?"  
  
He looked perplexed. "I don't know...but we'll think of something ok?"  
  
She shook her head. "Ok. If no one is home when we get there promise me one thing though?"  
  
He raised his eyebrow at her. "Yeah?"  
  
"Remember that thing I said this morning after my shower?"  
  
Xander gulped. 


End file.
